Selfishness is a confusing thing. Everyone talks about taking care of yourself and putting yourself first, but how do you do it without being selfish? Is it possible to learn to stop being selfish? Sometimes, you don’t even know when you’re being selfish until someone tells you. Selfishness can sometimes feel like human nature. Your first thought is about you and what you want. How do you start to change that? Here we share How to Stop Being Selfish: Strategies Using To Become Less Selfish for you.
How to Stop Being Selfish- Think about the future, and not just yours. It is easy to think about how you want your life to turn out. But considering others in the decisions that lead you there is so important.
Maybe you want to be making six figures in the next five years, but does that mean you would be willing to put your job in front of your relationship? Maybe you want to travel the world, but will you be home to spend the holidays with your family?
Show A Bit Of Empathy
Just like it’s easy to tune out people while they talk, it’s also decidedly easy to spend your day oblivious to other people’s wants and needs. But all it takes to prevent this is a little bit of empathy. According to Roman Krznaric in TIME, “Give them a chance to express those feelings and needs, and even reflect back what they’ve said so they recognize that you understand them.” Tada! Empathy achieved.
Give Your Parents A Call
If you have a good relationship with your parents, then by all means give them a call. They want to hear from you and will be so happy when that phone rings. Plus, it’s beneficial to all involved on a psychological level. As Jenny Kutner said on Mic.com, “… adult children on the receiving end of ‘frequent parental involvement,’ such as financial or emotional support, tend to fare better than those who do not.” Who would have thought? Now go pick up that phone.
Be The Person Who Calls A Friend
Don’t wait around for others to call you. Be the person who reaches out, makes plans, or calls to catch up. Someone’s gotta do it, so it might as well be you. Plus, taking such initiative shows that you had someone on your mind, which is a surefire way to brighten their day.
Remember that you’re not more important than anyone else
Selfish people are constantly thinking that they are the center of the universe and that the world should revolve around them. Well, you need to drop that thought like a bad habit. Whether you’re Madonna or Donna the hairdresser, you should think of yourself as the same as everyone else, not as somehow better because you’ve got more money, more looks, or more talent than the person standing next to you.
Practice being humble and modest. The world is a huge and absolutely amazing place, and you are just one tiny part of it. Don’t think that you somehow deserve more than other people because you are “you.”
Figure Out Ways To Compromise
Selfishness can rear its ugly head in the form of not giving in no matter what. This is hardcore child-like behavior, and obviously totally selfish. If that sounds familiar, work on your ability to compromise. As Allison Renner noted “Compromise is vital in any relationship, whether it’s with coworkers, friends, family members or your partner. It’s important to know when to stand your ground, but also to know which battles are worth fighting.”
Take a step back
Look at your life from someone else’s perspective. From your own, it probably looks great. You are happy. You do what you want when you want an answer to no one. But are you really happy? Or are you blissfully unaware of how lonely you are?
Are you fulfilled? Do you have people who would do anything for you and that you would do anything for?
Put yourself in someone else’s shoes
Whether it be your assistant, your sister, or the guy you see at the convenience store begging for change, put yourself in their position.
If you were being treated horribly by your boss but working your ass off, wouldn’t you deserve some reassurance or at least respect? If you had a sister who never asked for anything from you except some time to spend together, wouldn’t that seem reasonable? If you were begging for spare change, wouldn’t you appreciate the smallest gesture?